Someone once said to me “Intimacy is the peak of any relationship, once I can’t get it,the relationship is a waste of time. “As much as I wished to affirm this statement because of who he was, I found myself vehemently refuting it. The issue wasn’t the statement in itself, it wasn’t even about the disgusting certainty with which he spilled out something that only appeared to be truth. I didn’t even attempt swallowing it simply because the intimacy he spoke so strongly about was physical intimacy and I was undeniably of the opinion that intimacy should not be purely physical. This is not at all about physical intimacy. It’s about a part of us that is often crushed in the grinds of neglect as we tow the boats of relationship with our significant others – Our intellect.
It is a figment of the imagination.
It is born from our perception of ourselves, our ego; of whom we ought to be, to cover up our insecurities .
We invest in ambition to tell us who we are, to prove to others and ourselves about us and without it we we think, we are nothing.
Oh man, look within yourself, see the real you, through the eyes of divine to know, that there is nothing to prove to anyone or to yourself, address your insecurities as you are above them. For who we truly are is divine.
With this healthy perception of ourselves, we live not for ambition but to simply fulfill our role, which is to live, to create, love and above all give life.
Look at me! I’m special! (Love is not boastful or proud)
1 Corinthians 13:4
We are about halfway through the series, and I hope that at this point the picture I’m trying to paint is becoming clearer. Expressing these characteristics of love we’ve been studying towards our neighbours begins with having a change of mind about ourselves, and expressing them to ourselves. When the changes come from the inside out, it will be easier and less painful to love others the way God instructed.
We live in a world where everyone is measured by their accomplishments, and the worth of a man is determined by what he has. Sadly, this culture has created many people who are proud and boastful. “Boastfulness” is showing excessive pride and self-satisfaction in ones’s achievements, possessions or abilities.
People tend to look at those who are boastful and proud as being overly confident, but show me a boastful man and I’ll show you a man who is insecure.
This may seem contrary, but if we look closely at them, we will see that most people who go about bragging do so because they feel the need to constantly remind everyone about who they are and what they have done due to an underlying fear of obscurity. They have tied their sense of self-worth to their material possessions and skills, and so they are constantly demanding for accolades in order to feel relevant.
Such people also have a tendency to try and belittle the people around them as a way of making themselves seem bigger and more important. They are unable to love their neighbours because they feel like none of them have done/achieved anything worthy of love, and they tend to feel jealous and threatened of the people around them who they feel have achieved much.
It’s another episode of #SundayStyle. Get your style inspiration from today’s fashion icons.
Today on #NakedAndUnafraid…
If money wasn’t an option, what would do for a living?
Beautifully Imperfect. (Love is Patient)
1 Corinthians 13:4
Something I have noticed about us Nigerians is that we place A LOT of importance on appearances. From a very young age we were taught that perfection was the only option, and love was sort of a reward for that perfection. You do good, you are loved; you make a mistake and you are punished (often times in excess of the mistake). So growing up, we began to place those same demands for perfection on ourselves. We became preoccupied with keeping up appearances and looking as though we have everything together. Subconsciously, we crave and demand perfection from ourselves and others because we have been conditioned to believe that anything less than that is unacceptable and unworthy of being loved.
I am Beth. I have been having an addiction to pornography for 6 years now. It is hard to control myself anymore. I go to church and pray but when life throws something depressing or too heavy for me, I turn back to old habits. I learnt it can be detrimental to mental health and psychologically. What should I do?
How much love? (Matthew 22:37-40)
A while ago I had an epiphany while reading this verse. It’s a verse that I have read and quoted countless times, but I suddenly understood it in a different light. Jesus had just been asked a question about what the greatest commandment was, and the answer He gave is one that has caused me (and many other people I daresay) sleepless nights. He gives 2 commandments which He says are of equal importance, and on which every other commandment is based. The first is that we are to “love God with all our heart, soul and mind”, and the second is that we are to “love our neighbors as ourselves”. The epiphany was about the second commandment, the one about loving our neighbors. Loving other people the way Jesus does is something that has always been a struggle for a lot of us. We find “loving our neighbors” a difficult and sometimes downright impossible task.
I have come to realize that Jesus is always deliberate with His choice of words. In all His teachings, whenever He gives an instruction, He always gives us guidelines on how exactly to carry out this instruction, and Mat 22:39 is no different. When we read this verse and teach on love, we are often so focused on the first part, the “love your neighbor”, that we do not realize the gravity of the qualifier He attached, “as yourself”.
It’s another episode of Sunday Style. Happy Mother’s day to all the prospective mothers out there!
Nneka is a beautiful, working class young lady who is well to do; she has a side hustle that amps up her monthly pay and all. She is also 39 years old, pushing forty.
Since she started dating, she has been in and out of relationships for different reasons and just when she is about to give up on them entirely, she meets Oliver.
This is a young man with whom she falls in love and is ready to spend the rest of her life, and vice versa. Before he goes to meet her family, he tells her he has something to say…he then breaks it to her that he had lied earlier on about his age and that instead of 40,he was actually just 32.
What would you advice sister Nneka to do at this point? Go ahead irrespective of the age gap between the two of them and the inevitable refusal from her parents, or leave him for someone else, and why?
It was a Friday afternoon. The sky glared and the wind— the wind was nothing but calm air. It seemed like the sun had come out to play as we perspired heavily in her stead. Our feet were keen to meet the earth at Kwali, but our lips dithered about whether or not to curse the heat that welcomed us.
A coterie of medical students (from ABUAD and EKSUTH Chapters) had that morning undertaken an eight-hour road trip that would haul all seventeen of them to a venue about three hundred miles away from the comfort of their fancy beds. (Permit the author’s transition to third person narration).
We had finally made it to Kwali, Abuja for the Christian Medical and Dental Association first CEC (Central Executive Committee) meeting for the year 2018. Led by School President, Oko-ose Oseosenaga, the Afe Babalola University Chapter was unprecedentedly fully represented. Our arrival was greeted with several exchanges of pleasantries and after completing the mandatory registration process we advanced to the cafeteria for lunch. Our taste buds were introduced to the deliciousness of the northern cuisine, Massa. Alas! What a crime it is to taste heaven once and never again. Later that evening, the ceremony commenced with beautiful music that resonated with the harmony of our souls and we could not but watch our praises ascend beyond the confines of the ceiling. Nnanna Jemie Uche, the Northern Zonal Coordinator officially welcomed all guests and delegates to the program. Subsequently, the CMDA National President, Abdulrahman Teasop Fofie, mounted the dais and gave his opening remarks with encouraging words from the book of Hebrews. The whole congregation echoed a number of inspiriting hymns. I was particularly mesmerized by the hymn, Carry your Candle. “There is a candle in every soul, some brightly burning, some dark and cold…”. And the evening of Friday ended with our retreat to our various ‘hotel rooms’. The sight of the refulgent full moon in the lonely sky kept the eyes of many who watched occupied, until their eyelids slumbered.
Happy Sunday! You know what they say: life sure isn’t perfect but your outfit can be. Say hello to our style icons of today. (Photo credits to Beckley Photography)
I’m so confused….
Married to a Pastor for 14 years, 3 beautiful children. My husband has always been somewhat controlling, but in the past 2 years controlling has turned into severe emotional abuse.
My Christian background keeps me thinking, save the marriage, stay by his side no matter what, support his hopes and dreams and his ministry.
One of the times I was pregnant, he beat me severely for not preparing his dinner on time. I thought I was going to lose the child. He even said the only reason he hadn’t married someone else was because I was still alive.
I’m afraid to talk to people at church about it because he is the “annointed” leader of the ministry. Everybody looks up to him as a Spiritual mentor and father.
I want to leave, I have a plan 80% in place to remove myself and my children in the next 30 days, but I just can’t help but think that God would want me to stay.
I know that GOD HATES DIVORCE, and feel very let down, but is this kind of abuse tolerable?
Pre-read, read, and discuss.
No topic is too abstract and complex. Only the teachers feel so, and only the student thinks so. Before you pick up a topic, pre-read it casually on the internet. and grasp what you can from it. Make it interesting for yourself, even laugh about some statements they make.
Next, pick up the slides, and read line by line. chances are, the slides would be easier to understand. Try to find reason behind every statement on that slide. Afterall, the person that put it there, wasn’t fabricating info.
And the last, discuss with friends. Sadly, no matter how much you read, it can’t and will not be as good as when you discuss. Talk about the topics with friends, and therein you find where you’re lacking. They won’t know, but you’d know and correct yourself.
Medical education isn’t hard. Just voluminous.
Damilola Jesuyajolu, 500L.
Today on #NakedAndUnafraid…
An 18 year-old Christian girl was very unfortunate to be at the site of a robbery. There she was raped. Afraid of the societal stigma surrounding rape victims, she decided to be silent about it. Later she finds out she is two months pregnant. Her parents want her to abort the child. Her doctor also advices the same. But her pastor opposes the idea of abortion claiming it is a sin regardless of the circumstances surrounding it. What do you think she should do?
Please let us know what you think in the comment section below.
This Sunday, we commence a new segment tagged: Sunday Style. Every sunday we’ll feature a couple of fashonistas here on CANDENTIA. Don’t be in a hurry to leave church on a Sunday. You just might be next!
A 4-week-old boy was born at term after a normal pregnancy is brought to the EPU by his mother. She says that he has suddenly started vomiting up all his feeds and can’t stop, even though he still wants to feed.
This baby was born at term after a normal pregnancy. He fed well initially, but recently he has been vomiting after every feed. Sometimes, the vomiting is forceful and shoots out of his mouth. He still seems hungry and feeds vigorously.
Q1: What is the likely differential diagnosis? Continue reading “Clinical Case 2 (Peds)”
Many of the gender stereotypes we know today were not always present in the past; they are relatively new trends in the human society. This is because social expectations of each gender change over time, and often develop differently in cultures around the world. That being said, should exclusive gender roles exist?
Highlighting specific pertinent examples:
1. Should a man be responsible for ‘bread-winning’ and the woman for house chores and taking care of the kids, regardless of each person’s income or availability.
2. Should a woman propose to a man for marriage?
Please let us know what you think in the comment section below.
1 Corinthians 14:34 KJV
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
Seeing that this is the only place the bible makes mention of this, would you say that churches that allow female ministers have deviated from God’s original design?
Please let us know in the comment section below.
Remember the rules of the game,
- All comments should relate directly to the subject matter.
- No comment should be directed against any individual.
- Every individual’s point of view should be respected.
- Offenders of the above set rules should be ignored so as to keep the flow of discourse.
32 year-old Stephanie Ezekweli is referred to the ICU post caesarean section. She had an uneventful elective caesarian section 10 hours previously.
She has been referred because in the last 2 hours she has developed vaginal bleeding and oozing from her epidural site. Her vital signs are unremarkable except for a small oxygen requirement.
The following coagulation results are obtained:
What is the most likely diagnosis? What are the other possible differentials? How would you manage this patient’s condition?