“Love is…” #6 (A series by Eki Wari)

Don’t dish out what you can’t take. (Love is not rude)

 

1 Corinthians 13:5

 

I think at various points in time, we have all had people be rude to us, and nobody ever really comes away from such encounters feeling good. If we’re being honest however, we will see that we also may have been rude to people sometimes. Think back to the times you said/did something rude; what was going on with you? Were you going through something? Were you frustrated? Often times, there is a link between our emotional state and our behavior. Happy people tend to be nicer, angry people tend to be more Continue reading ““Love is…” #6 (A series by Eki Wari)”

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“Love is…” #5 (A series by Eki Wari)

Look at me! I’m special! (Love is not boastful or proud)

 

1 Corinthians 13:4

We are about halfway through the series, and I hope that at this point the picture I’m trying to paint is becoming clearer. Expressing these characteristics of love we’ve been studying towards our neighbours begins with having a change of mind about ourselves, and expressing them to ourselves. When the changes come from the inside out, it will be easier and less painful to love others the way God instructed.
We live in a world where everyone is measured by their accomplishments, and the worth of a man is determined by what he has. Sadly, this culture has created many people who are proud and boastful. “Boastfulness” is showing excessive pride and self-satisfaction in ones’s achievements, possessions or abilities.
People tend to look at those who are boastful and proud as being overly confident, but show me a boastful man and I’ll show you a man who is insecure.
This may seem contrary, but if we look closely at them, we will see that most people who go about bragging do so because they feel the need to constantly remind everyone about who they are and what they have done due to an underlying fear of obscurity. They have tied their sense of self-worth to their material possessions and skills, and so they are constantly demanding for accolades in order to feel relevant.
Such people also have a tendency to try and belittle the people around them as a way of making themselves seem bigger and more important. They are unable to love their neighbours because they feel like none of them have done/achieved anything worthy of love, and they tend to feel jealous and threatened of the people around them who they feel have achieved much.

Continue reading ““Love is…” #5 (A series by Eki Wari)”

“Love is…” #3 (A series by Eki Wari)

Kindness begins at home. (Love is kind)

When we speak about “kindness”, as with the other qualities of love, we usually do so in relation to other people. We use it to mean being nice, friendly, generous and considerate to the people around us. Kindness, however, isn’t just being “nice”. The starting point of it is being able to differentiate between right and wrong. It means withholding what harms, and giving what heals in love. In kindness, we have to first of all understand the situation, and then responds in a way that best helps and improves that situation. So kindness isn’t ”enabling”. Sometimes, it means saying “no”. Continue reading ““Love is…” #3 (A series by Eki Wari)”

“Love is…” #2 (A series by Eki Wari)

Beautifully Imperfect. (Love is Patient)

1 Corinthians 13:4

Something I have noticed about us Nigerians is that we place A LOT of importance on appearances. From a very young age we were taught that perfection was the only option, and love was sort of a reward for that perfection. You do good, you are loved; you make a mistake and you are punished (often times in excess of the mistake). So growing up, we began to place those same demands for perfection on ourselves. We became preoccupied with keeping up appearances and looking as though we have everything together. Subconsciously, we crave and demand perfection from ourselves and others because we have been conditioned to believe that anything less than that is unacceptable and unworthy of being loved.

Continue reading ““Love is…” #2 (A series by Eki Wari)”

“Love is…” #1 (A series by Eki Wari)

How much love? (Matthew 22:37-40)

A while ago I had an epiphany while reading this verse. It’s a verse that I have read and quoted countless times, but I suddenly understood it in a different light. Jesus had just been asked a question about what the greatest commandment was, and the answer He gave is one that has caused me (and many other people I daresay) sleepless nights. He gives 2 commandments which He says are of equal importance, and on which every other commandment is based. The first is that we are to “love God with all our heart, soul and mind”, and the second is that we are to “love our neighbors as ourselves”. The epiphany was about the second commandment, the one about loving our neighbors. Loving other people the way Jesus does is something that has always been a struggle for a lot of us. We find “loving our neighbors” a difficult and sometimes downright impossible task.
I have come to realize that Jesus is always deliberate with His choice of words. In all His teachings, whenever He gives an instruction, He always gives us guidelines on how exactly to carry out this instruction, and Mat 22:39 is no different. When we read this verse and teach on love, we are often so focused on the first part, the “love your neighbor”, that we do not realize the gravity of the qualifier He attached, “as yourself”.

Continue reading ““Love is…” #1 (A series by Eki Wari)”

RANDOM THOUGHTS OF A GROANING MAN

The feeling of sorrow is addictive
The endless want to stay down
Yet another force tells you its not real
Even though it is evident that we are bound.
Hearing two voices in the same body
One from the mind and the other the heart
Problem is we only have one mouth
And the choice of which voice comes out makes what it is saying real.
The exasperating need for silence to listen
So we can hear the sounds of the leaves dropping to the ground, creaking
Our heads have become a path of some kind
For the legs of many thoughts running through our mind
Where am I from? Who am I?
What is purpose and what purpose have I?
I’ve everything … philosophy, science and I’ve even studied with my own eyes
Everything seems close to the truth, but then anything that isn’t…is a lie
God! Are you out there?
I’ve hit the dead end, nothing seems clear
I can’t win this war going on in my head
Please, say something… Its a matter of life and death…
While I say these things, I feel a tug in my heart
No…not a tug. Its like a knock…in my heart
I listen deeper in the silence I so craved
I hear “For God so loved the world that He gave…”
I don’t understand, I ponder
Then I quit, I’ve tried this natural way too long… No longer
I must accept this, maybe I’ll understand later
I’ve got nothing to lose, It’s now or never.
Continue reading “RANDOM THOUGHTS OF A GROANING MAN”

Michael’s medical school adventures (Part 1)

Catch a glimpse of Michael’s day to day medical school adventures in this series. The way things are going, one of these days, Michael may soon end up on the stretcher.

Michael nodded his head repeatedly as the cardiology fellow spoke during the morning’s ward round. It was almost as if his nodding was synchronous with his heart beat, a clinical sign the cardiologists would refer to as the deMusset’s sign. His bobbing, however, wasn’t due to any underlying heart pathology. On the contrary, he noticed that each time the consultant, Dr. A.C. Rimony, said something over his head and he nodded in agreement, she seemed to be somewhat encouraged that at least someone understood what she was saying. She would then no longer have to spend more time explaining and would move on to the next topic of discourse.
What happened next was completely unexpected.
Michael had completely adhered to every rule in the best seller student handbook “How to have a smooth clinical posting” by Dami J., an alumnus of his school. He always stood at the back during the ward rounds; never raised his hand whenever questions were thrown to the audience at grand rounds; and always left his name tag back in his dorm room, so that he’d never have to wear it. He lived by every word that was written in the book, so he had nothing to fear, or so he thought. His unprecedented nodding must have changed everything.

Continue reading “Michael’s medical school adventures (Part 1)”

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