Screaming Whispers (2)

Step 2: An hour of prayer bolus, 30mins of worship as maintenance. (Repeat at 12th hour and 24th hour, Till you can tolerate orally, afterwards, pray without season.
Be alert and always keep on praying (Ephesians 6:18).

When prayer is no longer the oxygen of our spiritual soul or the heartbeat of our church, our defences are down. Praying for those who hurt us becomes something we don’t even want to do. But neglecting prayer and Bible reading leaves us open to the enemy and conflict. His tactics are so subtle; we can feel so justified in attacking one another, but the loss to our own hearts and to the Kingdom is an unnecessary tragedy. The enemy’s stealing and robbing is done long before we have even recognized that he was at the door. Knowing he is prowling the neighborhood keeps us in a proactive state; this allows us to recognize him and withstand his tactics.
When conflict threatens your heart and your church, as it always will, seek first to raise the prayer banner in your life and in your church. This invites the Spirit of God to be at work in the lives of those involved and minimizes our tendency to lean on our own understanding. It moves us toward recognizing our utter dependence on God: he alone is the hope of the hurting church.

STEP 3: KEEP SHORT ACCOUNTS
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).

This truth is so profoundly elementary we often miss it. The Bible often uses images drawn from agriculture: seeds, reaping, sowing. Seeds of irritation and annoyance, not plucked out and dealt with on a daily basis, will grow in our hearts. When they are not dealt with as soon as we recognize them, they take root. Each subsequent encounter with that same irritation, which will always be linked to someone, will cause that root to dig just a little deeper. And the deeper it goes, the more bitter it gets.

STEP 4: DON’T BE AFRAID OF ACCOUNTABILITY

We often allow gossip, slander, and anger to be overlooked and rationalized in our churches. We might even legitimize the fractures among believers by telling ourselves that God is purging our church, that he is bringing justice. We stand up and glibly say, “God is in control,” while heads roll and tears fall and tender spirits get bruised and crushed.
We forget that God gives us a choice in how we deal with matters, and that the enemy is alive and well, attempting to influence those choices. We forget that for God to be in control of the moment, the conversation, or the situation, we need to say “yes” to the leading of his Spirit, trusting him to work through us. Psalm 15 depicts the marks of an authentic Christian. It says that he casts no slur on his fellow man but honors those who fear the Lord. In any given troubling situation, we need to honestly ask ourselves, “Am I trusting God and submitting to his direction here? Or am I taking control?”

Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us to trust in the Lord with our whole heart and not lean on our own understanding. It exhorts us to acknowledge him in all our ways, and promises that he will make our paths straight. If your way of thinking is resulting in opinions and actions that bring disunity, ask God to reveal to you what is going on in your own heart.

God speaks harshly about the one who promotes division (Titus 3:10). If the Spirit prompts you to speak to someone who is causing conflict, remember to only do so in love and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Don’t be afraid to hold people accountable or to be held accountable.

STEP 5: ACKNOWLEDGE PRIDE.
God resists, or opposes, the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

Pride is a killer. It is one of the subtlest tools of the enemy. God actually resists the proud! And who would want to be opposed by God? Yet, we often find pride in the church, although it wears a different cloak than it does out in the world. Pride exists in our hearts and in our churches in two prominent ways that we often try to justify:

1. When we stand by our righteous principles, but walk away from reconciliation. Taking a stand is not wrong in itself; however, it is very often accompanied by a lack of grace and a spiritual superiority that prevents the Spirit of God from working in a situation. If you are ever tempted to “stand for righteousness” against another Christian, check if your trademark of love is visible, make sure your heart is clean in all the secret places, and ensure that you have done all you can to live at peace (Romans 12:18). If the basis for your stand is your own pride, be very careful, for God does resist the proud.
2. When we speak from a sense of spiritual pride. You may have a discerning heart or a prophetic gifting, and God may reveal truth to you concerning a certain situation or person. But be very careful. God calls us first to prayer and often, to nothing more. God will clearly reveal whether you should say anything, but the first task is to obey the call to prayer. A lot of damage has been done in the church when someone feels they have received a word from God but hasn’t prayed about it. If you think you sense something, pray that God will reveal if there is anything else he requires of you. God’s whisper in our Spirit will never be in conflict with what he directs in his Word. When we live out of spiritual pride, the Spirit is grieved. We are cut off from what God wants to do in our lives and in the situation (1 Corinthians 13). The simple question to ask before opening your mouth is: “Will this lift Jesus higher, or will this lift me higher?”

Be slow to speak, especially words that sow negativity, and be quick to listen. (Louder for those at the back)
Ephesians 4:29–30 says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.”

THE GOLDEN STEP: COMMUNICATION.

Find appropriate ways to express your feelings. Since we never had a forum to air grievances, I never expressed to the church the fear, anger, and grief I felt. Without doing so, I spent years mentally playing through “what I should have said.” This was incredibly taxing for me and prolonged my healing time. I could have benefitted from a therapist back then to guide me in what to say and to whom. I recommend the same for anyone going through a similar situation. A well-trained therapist who respects your faith is crucial; one who understands church polity, a bonus.

2. FORGIVENESS

While volumes could be written on forgiveness, an understanding of group dynamics helped me immensely. As a church leader and worker, I know groups wield enormous power as individuals often refrain from helping those in need because they assume someone else will act. This diffusion of responsibility coupled with their doubting that one person can make a difference anyway often keeps caring people from doing anything to help.

This knowledge helped me forgive those who did not speak up on our behalf. Many who cared about Ben likely felt inadequate to make a difference on their own and waited for someone else to act. While it was too late to turn the tide, a few did voice their disapproval to the church the day my son died. I respect their willingness to do what they could.

If you are aware of an injustice in your church, speak up. One voice can prompt others to follow, breaking the power of the group. If you have been hurt by others’ silence, understand that no one is immune to group pressure. Work toward forgiveness.
Finally,
The news is full of sordid reports of church and business leaders who have squandered their opportunities. High-profile leaders and under-the-radar ones have been identified in incidents of adultery and sexual abuse. It also hurts to see , religious leaders and people you look up too – fall. Financial mismanagement is another way leaders are forfeiting their opportunity to have a positive impact on their communities and breaking the hearts of their fellow Christians. And some leaders have been released because they came to the conclusion they were emperors rather than shepherds.

Is it possible for these leaders to reclaim a good opinion? Certainly—but it’s not easy. The road back is often long and difficult; many don’t have the courage to take it.
When your pastor hurts you, don’t forget they are humans and not immune to sin. Don’t use them as an excuse to not serve the Lord. Our eyes should be on Jesus and not just on our religious leaders.
Ultimately, if you’ve tried these steps and the stain of pain can’t seem to leave your inflamed heart. You can’t unsee and unknow, the atmosphere isn’t favourable for your spiritual growth.
Then jump like Ben , not off the roof, or into the world or into the devil’s arms.
Jump into another safe , favourable welcoming arms of another church.
You should always prioritise God and growing in faith, allow nothing come between you and your God.
Sadly, no church is rid of sin. Every church has it’s flaws. So yes, the onus is on us. We must learn and attain skills and personalities that help us grow no matter the weather.( Ephesians 5:25) .

So, I write to you my son, James. With a heavy heart that gets lighter each day, as one that is still healing from a collage of pain framed on the sands of time.
I never told you the battle your older brother fought until now. I write as the memories reverberate within my head. syllables splitting and reproducing like cells–infinite.
Being hurt by the church is never an Excuse.
We must beg the angels to whisper songs to us when our hearts are broken.

Let the Holy spirit heal the pain of the hurt , Tap, tap, slowly then all at once.

Dawn Austin.